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Sunday, 25 July 2010
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cant keep my eyes off of you
ok, so here's the real story. me and my bestfriend went out to have a coffee and we bought her laptop to ofcourse surf at the cafe for free. We sa one of the fam0us teen actress here in the philippines who is maegan y0ung. and few minutes later, my bestfriend has to work already and so i was left here in the coffee shop, surfing some stuffs.
as i was surfing, a guy walks toward me. and i was waiting that he will now be sitting here beside my table, he is about 5'9 tall, wearing a basketball uniform from the university of the philippines, he wears this tiny band aid at the left lip corner of his face. as i looked at him, i felt the chills inside my heart, it felt like everything was just a slow motion everytime i looked at him. this things made me smile, and me more turnes on about because as he zip his coffee, he's reading something, and reviewing something. i dont know what it is, but i just wish i knes. i cant take my eyes off of him. oh my gosh, first crush at the coffee shop. he looks so cute and witty, and a lil quiet. everything that i like in a man.
i cant help myself but to look at him.
that's all i have for now. xoxo. :))
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
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it all depends on us!!
Everybody can choose things between right and wrong--- but the bottom line is why are things settled in one place can make us stand in the same place choosing two different directions? We have our freedom of speech and so we have our own main reason why we do things the right way or the wrong way. But I do believe that either ways, the main reason is “US”. It’s our choice to be right, be wrong and it’s our own choice to stand on those phases… sometimes, people think it is really hard to work and put an effort on the people we love because they tend not to forgive us or give us any reason why these things are happening to us. but I don’t think that counting any effort could help us stay strong, because the tendency is that everyday of our lives we think of the efforts that we’re doing until we get tired of it and lose track of what we’ve been focusing about. “Efforts” are a great deal of putting back things into the right places where they belong. it becomes more intense when we see the things that we do wrong, we see all things that could come tumbling down, and as we put those phases into an end, it becomes our own choice…because we gave up, because we get tired, and because we let ourselves count on these efforts and get the feeling of regret… which can worsen the situation of each. In which we can never bring back those pieces again, because we chose to… it all depends on “US”, on how we handle things either the right way or the wrong way, because after all we’ll see those people who gave up the fight and who never gave up because they tend to do so… because they chose NOT to give up…
Sunday, 25 April 2010
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"MYSTIFIED"
“Mystified”
“Sometimes, you also have to do things you don’t want to do for the betterment of the situation.”-- I feel really down, simply because I let myself down. I let my emotions run through what is not supposed to happen, and I know there is no turning back to the things I am doing… I’m being hurt by the situation that I am into; all I can do is just go with the flow and let myself accept whatever it is needed to accept. I know all this would end by a simple confirmation through my words, but I’d rather see what’s behind all of these before I make my decisions. I am really so much ready to take a risk and try, why not right? But to what I am seeing right now, I’d rather shut my mouth first and wait until I prove to myself that that thing is worth the fight.
It’s not easy to handle these kinds of situation, but all I know is that I enjoy and appreciate things when I’m with that person. I know I haven’t yet given my very best to prove that I deserve to be that special someone, it’s because that person haven’t yet seen a part of me that is worth the fight. My feelings gone weaker when I knew that I was getting attached to that person, that person never really knew how much I fell. How much I care. And how much I am willing to give… but it seems like words seems unspoken because of the actions that was done that is proving me to stay put, stand still and wait until I am ready. I don’t know where this thing would end but I am sure to my feelings and if that person ends it and love somebody, I’ll let go and move on. But if that person will prove me and never ask for anything but my love even if it takes months or years, I’ll be glad to have the heart that waits for me patiently that to have someone who wants to replace me to other person so as to forget the feelings that that person once had for me… there’s a part of me saying that what I’m doing is wrong, but it’s just my way of proving to myself that this environment, this experience is new to me, I just really want to make right decisions that I will never regret.i am confused, and yes, I will wait for that sign…
Saturday, 23 January 2010
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FICTION
One night I went out alone,
I don’t really go out alone but I found myself bored inside the house having nothing to do with…
while I was walking in this cold street, I saw people with different faces, they are staring at me.
I felt ashamed for what I looked like, is there’s something wrong with my face?
Is there’s something wrong with my clothes? What? Why are these people seemed to be bothered by the way I look?
And so I continued walking with my head faced down because I don’t want to see those people looking at me.
So I pretend to not hear and see them and while I was walking I saw a lot of people who are at the same age as I am in this big house, someone holds my hand and drag me into this house,
because I got curious about the things that is happening inside the house, I followed the guy who dragged me, I can’t see his face because he’s tall and he never looked at me while talking I thought my friends are tricking me and so I continued walking with the tall guy.
Inside, I saw all types of teenagers looking at me, in my world, I am the one who looked at people passing me by, but at that moment I felt different and became an extra in my own world.
So, I became bothered about myself and had a hard time figuring out what went wrong as I turn my head up, I saw someone behind the stairs looking at me, I left the tall guy and go to the stairs where I saw the other guy who is looking at me. As I came towards him, he pulled my hands and embraced me so tight. At that moment, I felt my heart beating faster, I don’t know who he is but at the same time I felt completely happy.
He looked at me so deep, and says “I know you’re hurt but you have to be strong enough, FRIENDS always come and go and you must expect that they can leave you behind and there’s no one you can count on but yourself” and so I cried. I thought of what he said, all my life I am wishing for a true friend to come over my life, but they just all passed me by, leaving me some good and a lot of bad memories I should say. After I cried, I noticed that the guy whom I am talking to is already gone. After the blink of my eye, suddenly I felt so dizzy and I woke up into my bed holding the picture of my friend who has passed away last year.
It’s a fiction story, so it’s for you to know and understand the real message of the story.
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
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SO VAIN
ive never felt so WEAK, nor never felt so VAIN
it makes me think about certain things that i do not usually do
and makes me worry in everything i do..
now i understand how some people describe the word VAIN...
it simply puts you into a place where you never thought you would..
i felt so bad everyday, i felt weak, felt like dying,
felt like no one cares and felt like isolated..
sometimes, i cover things up just to show that nothing bothers me..
but at the end of the day, when i fall back to sleep at night
it always put me into a certain place which makes me feel useless and alone.
EMOTIONAL, its who i am this week..
and no matter how hard i try to find ways to forget things that are bothering me,
it never stops running through my mind all through out..
im glad i have friends to share my laughter and joy everyday,
but one thing i know im really sure about is that all i can run to is only myself.. no one else..
coz everything and everyone leaves you no matter how good they are and no matter how close you are to those persons..
iamaphrodite_goddess_faye
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- Name: FaYe
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 3/11/2008
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I AM FUN TO BE WITH, YET EMOTIONAL! Ü i love singing, dancing and acting... i also like watching movies and series like heroes, gossip sirl, prison break and many more... i am approachable, so dont be shy to approach someone like me who is not really good in writing a blog.. ok?? :)
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if i give up on you, would you give up on me??... -stigmatize
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